Sandwich #147–“Towel Stealer” Sriracha Egg Salad Sandwich

By 300 Sandwiches

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DSC_0831 E has a criminal past. He’s a towel stealer.

Our bathroom is not that big. The towel organization system we have is not that complex. E’s towel hangs on the higher hook on the back of the bathroom door. Mine hangs on the lower hook, the one easier for me to reach. His terrycloth white robe hangs directly over his towel; my stars and moons robe hangs directly over my towel.

So why is that when E bathes before I do, and I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower and lather up and then get out of the shower sopping wet, I NEVER HAVE A DRY TOWEL BECAUSE HE’S USED BOTH OF THEM?!

“What is your problem, towel stealer?!” I yell, dripping wet.
“What? Just use mine,” E says.
“I don’t WANT to use yours! I don’t want to rub my face with a towel you’ve rubbed your ass with!”

Guffaws. Chuckles. And then, E says:”You’re so cute when you’re angry!”

It makes me never want to make him another sandwich ever again.

But alas, I did. This morning, I showered first, and hid my towel in my bedroom closet. Then I made egg salad. I had no idea if E even liked egg salad, but I made it anyway. I made it spicy, with sriracha sauce, and added scallion and celery for crunch.

E flopped on the couch after rolling in from CrossFit, but sat up when I presented him the open-faced egg salad sandwich. “It’s spicy,” he said, “and it’s good!”

Later on, when I was ready to leave for work, E popped out of the shower dripping wet and propped the bathroom door open. “Where is my towel?” he asked.
“Did you look on your hook?” I responded.
“Ah don’t worry, I’ll just use yours….” But my towel was hidden in a safe place already.
“Wait, your towel isn’t in here?” he frowned. “Fine, I’ll go find one.”

E marched his wet, dropping body throughout our bedroom and around the corner to the dryer to pick out a fresh one, leaving a river between the bedroom and the hallway. “Really?!” I squealed.
Great. Now I have to get the mop out and clean up behind my towel stealing boyfriend.

Who has time to make sandwiches when I’m so busy cleaning? Maybe I should take a hiatus from the kitchen until he can keep track of his towels.

4 eggs, hard boiled
2 scallions, chopped
1/2 celery stalk, chopped
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 tablespoon sriracha
1 handful arugula
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 slice rye bread
salt and pepper to taste

Boil eggs for about 15 minutes each (I wanted mine hard boiled, but cook eggs to your desired hardness). Remove shells and chop into small pieces. Add sriracha, scallion, celery, salt and pepper and mix in bowl. Toast bread, dress greens in olive oil and black pepper. Layer on greens onto bread and scoop salad on top. Serve, with a fork and knife.

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