Today on Wedding Wednesday, I’m revealing something truly heartbreaking. I’m not going to have something I’ve always dreamed of for my wedding.

Since the idea of marrying E became a reality, I looked forward to one special moment between him and I during the wedding that I’m not going to experience. I feel heavy in the stomach just thinking about it.

It’s something that many brides get to experience with their grooms over a leisurely afternoon. It connects the couple on a deeper level as they express their true feelings and concerns, and come to a compromise about their desires. At the end of the day, the couple feels more connected, satisfied that they were able to persevere through a complicated decision, at times sacrificing ones desires to choose something that makes both parties happy.

I will not be able to partake in a pivotal time in wedding planning: I will not have a wedding cake tasting. Sigh.

The heartbreaking reason why is because we’re having our wedding a five hour flight away, and flying down to taste some nibbles of cake isn’t really practical. Okay, not so heartbreaking. Simply the hazard of a destination wedding.

But second to trying on wedding dresses at my favorite designers, this was next favorite thing about the wedding that I was looking forward to. My sweet tooth is the size of Texas.

I prepped myself for this a while ago, but last night E and I had to chose what type of cake we wanted via e-mails and photos from our wedding planner. It’s not the same as sitting down in a caterer’s kitchen or bakery, being presented with several flavors of pastries and getting to break my bridal diet and splurge on calories of cake and frosting, evaluating each variety on sugary sweetness, texture and color.

How do I know what I’m really getting by choosing a cake based on a picture? I’ve never had this baker’s pastries before!

Based on suggestions from my planner, E and I chose a cake flavor we’ve had many times while dining locally at our wedding location. I’m sure it will be satisfactory. I’m sure my guests will enjoy it. I’m sure it will be decadent enough to want to save a piece for the morning after so E and I can have it for breakfast in bed.

Though E and I didn’t get a chance to partake in the cake tasting, we did do a wine tasting at our rehearsal dinner location when were in town a few weeks go. Some would argue that the wine is more important than the cake.

With our guest list, the wine is definitely more important that the cake.

above, a snippet of one of my favorite cakes from Annalise Cakes in Barbados. Photo by Annalise Cakes.

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