E and I are planning a trip to Miami in a few weeks, partly for work, partly for play. This will involve time on the beach in very little clothing, which will expose parts of our body that may not be in the tightest form.

Despite E’s regular Cross Fit workouts and my return to the gym after a trying winter (flu, surgery, and other diversions) our diets have not been flat-belly friendly. Cheese, bread, meats, sweets, chocolate–and that was just last week. It’s going to be super hard to make 300 sandwiches and lose weight at the same time.

“How am I supposed to get skinny when you making me sandwiches all the time?” E told me. Wait, homie, this whole 300 sandwich challenge was YOUR idea in the first place!

We debated whether we should hop on one of those trendy diets—like the Paleo diet or the Mediterranean diet—to keep skinny. One restricts you from eating fruit, sweets and discourages alcohol. “It’s IMPOSSIBLE to be happy on that diet,” E said. The Mediterranean Diet says you can eat fruits, veggies, whole grains and even pasta, and you can have a glass of wine with every meal. “That’s more like it!” we agreed.

This morning, I cooked a clean sandwich–egg whites and peppers, on these thin whole wheat bread slices that only have about 100 calories each. I used a lot of fresh herbs and spices, and sprinkled just enough mozzarella cheese to hold the eggs in between the bread. It tasted like, well, clean food. But I was full until about 1:30PM and the whole thing probably had about 200 calories in it. We were one meal closer to that buff beach body we wanted!

Or not. Sadly we both missed the gym that day.

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