I’ve been reading this book, “May Cause Miracles” by Gabrielle Bernstein, in order to help me deal with stress and the good ol’ overwhelming feeling that comes around planning a wedding/writing a book/lack of time/pressing work deadlines.
It helped me avoid a minor wedding freakout yesterday.

I got a call yesterday that could have seriously changed the few concrete plans I had for our wedding thus far. The call bothered me to the point that I considered eloping once again. After a few breaths and drafting some emotional e-mails (which thankfully I never sent), I remembered the whole premise of Gabrielle’s book. It teaches you, among other things to look at a situation, a status, a conflict, from a place of love.

She writes: “All problems offer us opportunity to strengthen our faith in love. It may be difficult to see that opportunity in some problems—but be willing to see the grown opportunities in all difficult situations.”

Gabrielle’s advice includes choosing to see love in fearful or tough situations and in yourself. And this advice applies to anything—hate your job? Love the fact that it pays your bills. Mad at your spouse for forgetting to pick up milk? Love the fact that he made it home safely. Wedding planner calls and says you can’t have the ballroom and you have to settle for the terrace dining room? Well.

Think of it this way: everyone, planner/mother/caterer/florist included, probably just wants you to have the best event possible. Perhaps that space has better acoustics. Maybe it has wider entrance and aisles so your 92 year old wheelchair bound grandmother can easily roll to her seat. Maybe the space is cheaper, allowing you more money to spend on booze or your honeymoon. Whatever the conflict, it’s not about failing you. It’s about loving you. And your wedding.

So some advice, based on what I learned yesterday. Be grateful, yet assertive, in expressing your needs for your wedding. People want to help. People want to love. So let love rule. Or at least let it in before you send those scathing “THIS IS MY WEDDING GODDAMIT!!!!” e-mails.

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