I don’t like smoked salmon. But this whole 300 thing is not about me.

This is about E, and making 300 sandwiches that he likes.

Smoked salmon is E’s breakfast jam. But the slimy fish is on the top of my forbidden foods list. I did use it in a few sandwiches so far, like sandwich #67, the “In the Doghouse” version with smoked salmon, scrambled eggs and chives. There was also sandwich #102, the smoked salmon smorrebrod. I usually resort to smoked salmon sandwiches when I’m really trying to show my appreciation for E, like when I’ve been particularly moody or come home super late from nights out at events, even after I’ve promised to be home for dinner.

Today, for breakfast, I showed my appreciated for E for dealing with my mood swings as I manage wedding planning and launch a book which is up for pre-order here, by making a classic bagel and smoked salmon sandwich with cream cheese, red onion and capers. I held my nose and presented it to E with a smile.

“This hits the spot,” E said, washing each bite down with a swig of coffee. I looked at the sandwich. It did look good, with that toasted sesame seed bagel. And cream cheese. I was hungry. My stomach growled. Maybe the cream cheese would mask the the slimy fish texture? I reached for a half and took a bite. The crunch of the red onion against creamy cheese and the crunch of the bagel, I could get into this. Peppery and dill-y and , ooh, there’s a caper. Okay…

OH, THERE IT IS! AACKS! SLIMY! Oh god, THE SALMON! It’s like slithering in my mouth And oh god is it alive?! Is it still moving? oh, ewww, yuck oh good. make it….

*swallow.

Huh. Still hungry. “Can I have another bite?” I ask.

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