For those of you who might be dating someone seriously, and might be in the market to plan a wedding soon if only your significant other would just pop the question already, this is a public service announcement.

DO NOT, for the love of god, flip out on your mate because they have not yet proposed, and threaten to walk out of the relationship unless they “get their act together.”

Just breathe.

Let me tell you why.

He’s working on it!

I swear to you he is. You don’t have all of your information yet.

I did the same thing. I was cool with E for the first 2 years of our relationship. I was cool when we moved in together. I was super cool when he dared to challenge me to make him 300 sandwiches before he bought a ring. But 220 sandwiches in, I lost my mind. All of my friends were getting engaged. I pouted. I spazzed. Little did I know he had been working on the engagement for months before he popped the question. When it happened, I had no clue it was coming. And I almost ruined it all by acting like an asshole before he could propose.

Same thing happened to a friend of mine last week. Her friend got engaged. In response, she turned to her boyfriend of four years and shot him the sharpest side eye ever thrown from human to human. “He needs to get it together!” she texted.
Oh, but he does! I just can’t tell her that. Actually I did, but she won’t believe me. But it’s true.

“I’m just done. I’m through. It’s over.”
No, it’s not. Sit down.

Ladies, if you have casually dropped hints about engagement, if you and your man have talked about rings, and if there is even the slightest possibility that you two may make it down the altar, chances are he’s on the same page. He might already have bought your ring. Or he may not, but he’s still looking. Wherever he is in the process, you will never know. You won’t know until he actually proposes. And that’s fine. You’re not supposed to know.

What’s that you say? You’re some sort of super sleuth that went trolling through his sock drawers and credit card statements looking for some evidence of a diamond purchase and found none? Are. You. Insane?

This is not “Law & Order!” Calm. Down.

Stop rummaging through his stuff. Stop checking his e-mails. Just. Stop. The proposal is supposed to be a surprise. As in, planned by your man, unbeknownst to you, when he’s ready. Not when you’re ready. And you want it to be a surprise. Don’t be lame and blow the surprise. You’ll only wish you wouldn’t have blown up his spot when he actually proposes. Do you want your face at that moment to express fake surprise or real surprise? I know what I would want captured in photos—and in my fiancé’s eyes—from that moment.

So, to the ladies in waiting. The girlfriends in transition. I say, good things are coming. Enjoy each day. Tell your man you love him. Tell your newly engaged friends “congratulations!” and give them a big hug. Then take a walk, and be grateful you’ll have yet another excuse to drink Champagne and dance all night. That, and your (most likely) fiancé to be, are things too good to walk away from.

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